The Declining Fortunes of Can’t

If Can’t was a stock, I wouldn’t buy shares of it.

Even five years ago “I can’t” was a great excuse to get out of doing many things.

Call me next week. Oh, I can’t, I’m traveling cross-country on business then.

Gotta mail the bills. Oh I can’t because I don’t have any postage stamps.

Get to the meeting downtown on time. I can’t because I don’t know the way there and the directions I have are terrible and I only know part of the address and I can’t find the map that used to be in the glove box and I can’t find a payphone to stop and call someone and ask for directions and even if I did find a payphone I don’t have a quarter.

I want to be a writer, but I can’t because there’s no way I’d find a publisher.

I want to make a movie – even a short one – but I can’t because there’s no way to distribute my video.

I want to learn to be a computer programmer but I can’t afford to go back to college.

What excuse will we soon have left for not doing something? Buy stock in that, because it’s going to be worth something.

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