The Secret Method to Just Barely Squeak By
Do you want to be RICH? Of course! Everybody does! That’s why there are literally THOUSANDS of self-help “gurus” out there hawking some MIRACULOUS system that WILL – MAKE – YOU – RICH, overnight, without any risk or hard work on your part.
But, Bradd, you say to me. I don’t want to get RICH. I want to JUST BARELY SQUEAK BY! I want to live paycheck-to-paycheck and NEVER HAVE ANYTHING TO SHOW FOR IT!
Well then, friend, you are in luck! For I have discovered The Secret Method to Just Barely Squeak By! Oh no, Bradd, you’re going show me some mathemagical equation I don’t understand, aren’t you? Please don’t make me think about numbers!
Don’t worry, friend. The only number I’ll make you think about is how much you would pay for The Secret Method to Just Barely Squeak By. Is $499 is too much to Just Barely Squeak By? Ask yourself this: $199? Would you pay $29.95 – yes, you read right – just $29.95 for The Secret Method to Just Barely Squeak By?
Well, you’d be foolish to, my good buddy, since I am giving away The Secret Method to Just Barely Squeak By for FREE! That’s right! Wipe that astonished look off your face, push your lower jaw back into place and read on, my friend.
Get this: just a few years ago, while working in a government-funded laboratory for a pittance of a wage, I discovered The Secret Method to Just Barely Squeak By. After months, no, YEARS of trial, I finally learned that not only had I discovered The Secret Method to Just Barely Squeak By, but in fact I had PROVEN The Secret Method to Just Barely Squeak By with SCIENCE.
Bradd, you’re probably saying to me, you’d be CRAZY to give away the The Secret Method to Just Barely Squeak By for FREE. No, friend, I’d be crazy NOT TO. So, if you want to learn The Secret Method to Just Barely Squeak By, then just read on.
Read a little further on.
OK, now read a little bit further on.
OK, now you have reached the The Secret Method to Just Barely Squeak By.
Stand up, look in a mirror, and say these words out loud: “To Just Barely Squeak By, I must:
1. work no more than 40 hours per week…
2. …with no more than a high school education…
3. …for someone else.”
That’s it! Yes, friend, it really IS that simple! Repeat these words to yourself every day: “Work 40 hours a week…with no education …for someone else.” (OK, I lied about not having to worry about any numbers. 40 is technically a number, though it’s the new 30.)
Say them to a friend. Say them to a stranger. Say them to yourself. Have a friend say them to you. Have a stranger say them to a friend. Have the friend say them right back to the stranger. Have the stranger say, “I just said that! Weren’t you paying attention? ‘Work 40 hours a week…with no education…for someone else.’ Yeah, I just said that right before you said it!” As you walk away, say to your friend, “Gosh, who peed in his coffee?”
The more of these you follow, the closer you will get to Just Barely Squeaking By. If you wish to be a little better off, try working 50 hours per week instead of 40. On average, you’ll make about 25% more than you did before, which should give you enough money to maybe buy dinner at a restaurant a couple of nights per week (which you’ll need to do, since you’ll be too busy to cook).
If you get an education, but work 40 hours per week for someone else, you’ll still find a way to Just Barely Squeak By, I’ll bet. But if you follow my simple, scientifically proven method, you will be certain to Just Barely Squeak By, guaranteed.